It's January 3rd, and I still haven't come to terms with another year passing. Not that i was particularly attached to 2008, but I struggle with the meaning of time progressing. Given the fact that this human experience is finite, how do we make the most of what we've been given? How do we live every day, and every year, of our lives?

I was extremely challenged by 2008 in nearly every sense - physically, emotionally, financially, through business, relationships and personal balance. I saw great suffering in people I love, experienced failure and loss, and questioned nearly every life choice I had made. And yet, the year ended with a renewal of faith in humanity and a chance for change. I see it and feel it, but cannot shake off the blanket of sadness and disappointment.

The past few years have represented a period of some of the greatest changes in my life. I continue to feel the repercussions of decisions I made, sometimes questioning their 'rightness'. Looking at life through the rear view mirror is a sure way to paralysis. I feel it. Not quite sure how to right the wrongs, fix the broken and heal the hurt, I do nothing. I become a disembodied mind, working overtime to calculate the right answers. My beloved spreadsheets and matrices take up the time, and pretend at busyness, but don't actually accomplish anything. I keep being shown that the answers are not in the analysis, and yet, that's where i want to go, safe from having to make a decision or take action.

I feel strongly that I, and the rest of the world, are constantly being presented with possibilities and opportunities. It's not clear whether there are more so at this time than any other, but certainly the impetus to make more thoughtful choices fills me. Will it be enough?