A Powerful Life
I've spent the past 3 days attending the Landmark Education Advanced Course (landmarkeducation.com), the follow-up to the Landmark Forum. It is a workshop to empower you to "Live life powerfully and live a life you love." Pretty big stuff.
And it actually pans out. Although I had been resisting the suggestion of my participation for a long time (years?), it has been quite helpful. It's part of my 'know-it-all' act that led me to claim I didn't need this type of coaching. But it's all an act, really. And that's what Landmark does - uncover all your phony baloney so you can move forward with the process of having a kick-ass life.
It's working. I did not fully let my guard down for the Landmark Forum course I took in June, but this one was different. I feel myself softening and starting to let go of some of the thoughts and behaviors I've been hanging onto like a life-raft. Except that the life-raft was attached to a lead weight that was just pulling me down and under. So I realized the fear, and was able to let go, only to find myself afloat. Wow!
I was able to accomplish something that had previously filled me with terror. Yes, a grown woman scared like a child. Embarrassing really, when you think about it. But anyway, I felt the fear and did it anyway. Part of me feels relieved, part of me is a bit incredulous that it actually happened.
Inspired by this experience, I committed to continuing with the next step in this education, a course called the Self-Expression and Leadership Program. It is designed to help you use the tools you've gained in authenticity, integrity and community-building to create something that expresses who you are in the world. Scary, exciting, formidable.
I am feeling the slight challenge of being home again, however. After 3 days and more than 40 hours of immersion in the world of clear communication, self-reflection and transformation, it is traumatic to return to dirty dishes, bounced checks and people acting how people act. Trying not to constantly react with the need to fix everything and everyone is my challenge. When one considers oneself broken the natural reaction is to fix others. How ridiculous is that!!
I have glimpsed the other side, not only through these courses, but through my yoga practice and my work with clients. Sometimes true connection with another person can demonstrate to you your own perfection, and through that, our universal perfection. It's not a matter of superiority. In fact, it's the understanding that no one is better, and also no one is worse. We are truly all one. I love how that works.
For whatever reason, this level of connection has always been hard for me. I would much rather be on a stage in front of thousands of people than looking into the eyes of just one. But that is my work, and that's why I am now on the path that forces me to feel and examine that response. During this weekend, after an exercise where we were forced to just be with another person, eye-to-eye, for what felt like an eternity (ok, probably just a few minutes) it became crystal clear that seeing someone automatically translates to love. We are all so used to assessing people, and not seeing them (lest they might actually see us!) that we block ourselves from connection. I should probably just speak for myself here, instead of trying to dilute it with the general 'we'. And I should probably stop saying should. Darn!
Anyway, I feel better prepared to handle life, while at the same time creating something blissfully authentic. I looked into the eyes of the tiger and learned that he is in me and I am in him. My life is purely mine for the making.
And it actually pans out. Although I had been resisting the suggestion of my participation for a long time (years?), it has been quite helpful. It's part of my 'know-it-all' act that led me to claim I didn't need this type of coaching. But it's all an act, really. And that's what Landmark does - uncover all your phony baloney so you can move forward with the process of having a kick-ass life.
It's working. I did not fully let my guard down for the Landmark Forum course I took in June, but this one was different. I feel myself softening and starting to let go of some of the thoughts and behaviors I've been hanging onto like a life-raft. Except that the life-raft was attached to a lead weight that was just pulling me down and under. So I realized the fear, and was able to let go, only to find myself afloat. Wow!
I was able to accomplish something that had previously filled me with terror. Yes, a grown woman scared like a child. Embarrassing really, when you think about it. But anyway, I felt the fear and did it anyway. Part of me feels relieved, part of me is a bit incredulous that it actually happened.
Inspired by this experience, I committed to continuing with the next step in this education, a course called the Self-Expression and Leadership Program. It is designed to help you use the tools you've gained in authenticity, integrity and community-building to create something that expresses who you are in the world. Scary, exciting, formidable.
I am feeling the slight challenge of being home again, however. After 3 days and more than 40 hours of immersion in the world of clear communication, self-reflection and transformation, it is traumatic to return to dirty dishes, bounced checks and people acting how people act. Trying not to constantly react with the need to fix everything and everyone is my challenge. When one considers oneself broken the natural reaction is to fix others. How ridiculous is that!!
I have glimpsed the other side, not only through these courses, but through my yoga practice and my work with clients. Sometimes true connection with another person can demonstrate to you your own perfection, and through that, our universal perfection. It's not a matter of superiority. In fact, it's the understanding that no one is better, and also no one is worse. We are truly all one. I love how that works.
For whatever reason, this level of connection has always been hard for me. I would much rather be on a stage in front of thousands of people than looking into the eyes of just one. But that is my work, and that's why I am now on the path that forces me to feel and examine that response. During this weekend, after an exercise where we were forced to just be with another person, eye-to-eye, for what felt like an eternity (ok, probably just a few minutes) it became crystal clear that seeing someone automatically translates to love. We are all so used to assessing people, and not seeing them (lest they might actually see us!) that we block ourselves from connection. I should probably just speak for myself here, instead of trying to dilute it with the general 'we'. And I should probably stop saying should. Darn!
Anyway, I feel better prepared to handle life, while at the same time creating something blissfully authentic. I looked into the eyes of the tiger and learned that he is in me and I am in him. My life is purely mine for the making.
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