Ok, things are feeling a bit better. Other than a few episodes of short-temperedness with my family (well, one family member, really) I am dealing pretty well. The emptiness seems not to create anxiety anymore. I'm following the rules (mine, of course) and enjoying my meals.

I read somewhere that the western diet has eliminated the sensation of hunger. and that's a bad thing. of course, on a global scale hunger is very bad. but we're talking about eliminating a whole sensory category here. hunger which precedes eating (as opposed to hunger which precedes more hunger) is an important signalling mechanism. I can't help but theorize that our inability to feel hunger also leads to our inability to feel full. I know I certainly get into phases where I associate hunger with death. I would do anything to avoid that feeling. And yet, when it happens, I learn over and over that it won't actually kill me. In fact it's not even unbearable. I'm not hypoglycemic, I won't pass out while operating heavy machinery, it will all be OK. Maybe that's the lesson here.

In the session I just had with my client, we explored the concept of portion control. It is amazing that so many people can exercise amazing discipline in many areas of their lives, and yet stuff themselves silly. Yes, I understand that we are trained as young children to ignore those digestive messages ("Clean your plate Sally!") and the food manufacturers have strong vested interests in creating products that over-ride our natural impulses. But come on! We all know that it feels bad to eat in this way, yet we continue. Sometimes I wonder if the human race is on some path to certain destruction. In a world where there are no accidents or coincidences, how have we come so far from the truth?

I've stepped off the pulpit now. Enjoying my kale and kimchee lunch. I was feeling so good around noon that i actually decided i may limit myself to 2 measly meals a day. Not today. Lunch happened at 3 because i couldn't stand one more minute of holding out. The food restriction will have to be enough for now.

Since i am teaching tonight, i packed a salad which i will inhale as soon as we rise from Savasana. (Trying not to break the rule about eating 3 hours before bedtime.) Also planning on getting a practice in before class.

No practice before class. Got too caught up in office work and ran out of time. That situation really is getting old. I know I am addicted to email, and I actually love the impersonal regularity of sitting in front of a computer for hours at a time. And I also know it is not doing my (literal) butt any good. When there is a continuously infinite amount of 'desk' work to do, when do you say STOP? When does the rest of life get a turn? Hmmm...

Speaking of desk work, I finally sent out my newsletter today, and got some immediate positive feedback. Love that! I like to write, and am pleased when people enjoy my musings. I just wish I could get a bit more regular about it. See, that incessant pull to get behind the computer...

My eating havits are really starting to adapt, and I am feeling both physically and emotionally satisfied with my vegetables and salads. My nanny ended up baking some beets and sweet potatoes. Although they are not strictly in the spirit of the cleanse, I could not resist. They are whole foods, for chrissakes!

So delicious I almost cried. That sweet, creamy experience ignited something in me. They are not even my favorite qualities for foods (I'm more a crunchy, salty girl myself) but in that instance they represented love and softness and just the slightest bit of naughtiness. What a combination!!

I feel confident that I will make it through the 7 days and am starting to chew on what I will do next. Maybe even a full liquid fast. Yes, I'm on fire!