HUNGRY!!! Today starts my annual spring cleanse. I began this ritual 2 years ago, and have since created a group program, which now gathers a significant group of participants. This year, however, I was dragged kicking and screaming into it. I was completely devoid of will or motivation to go through the process. I gave this year’s formula to the participants, and hoped they would just ignore me…

In previous years, it has been extremely worthwhile, leading to dramatic weight loss, improved health and energy, and even significant life changes. This year I have grown comfortable with my miserable eating habits, slothful body and distinctly dysfunctional behaviors. Yes, I am hard on myself. But as a health and wellness professional, I often feel that I have to keep myself to a higher standard. Who’s going to believe me if I don’t walk my talk???

So, the day started out with my hot lemon water (which I believe am now addicted to). I had chopped and cleaned lots of vegetables, for the eventual steaming required of the cleanse, but realized that my nanny had actually stir-fried them instead. She is doing the cleanse, but I see is using some loose interpretations of the guidelines.

Since I had to run out of the house to get to the studios, I prepared a bowl of brown rice with stir fried vegetables to eat later in the day, and enjoyed my yummy pear as I was driving.

After teaching 2 classes and a telephone meeting, I was certainly feeling hunger, but not fatigue. Oh yeah, maybe a bit irritable too. I felt resentful that I was not able to eat whatever I want whenever I want. I was pissed that I could not just stop by  the great Thai place across the street from the studio, and have a wonderful lunch.

To dissipate some of my discomfort, I ended up talking about the cleanse to EVERYONE who listened. Most expressed interest in joining it themselves. Maybe we’ll have an even bigger group this year!

By the time I returned home at nearly 7pm, I was beyond famished. You know that feeling where you think your body is hollow? That was it. Even more than the physical discomfort was the emotional. Why was I doing this? Who cares if I was carrying around an extra 10-15 pounds? What is the frickin’ point???!!! I work my clients through this type of resistance all the time, but struggle with it myself (clearly).

I filled myself first with more stir-fried veggies, than a large green salad. Although I could have certainly eaten more (who left all that pizza in the fridge??!!!!), I stopped myself. Two bowls of herbal tea later and I let the feeling of not being satisfied pass.

Of course I forgot about how much you pee when you are cleansing. I feel like I’m wearing a path between me and the bathroom. Good night, I hope.